1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I consider the Bible to be the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. So, by that statement, I was not Loved as I thought I was. Never was. I guess for that matter, what I thought was Love I was giving was not Love at all. It was not until after my heart was destroyed by my ex-wife that I even came to Jesus and ask him to come into my heart. Does that give me a pass from the rule above. I don't think so. In fact I know it doesn't. What about her? Does it make her more guilty because she DID know Jesus? Again, I have to say No.So now what? My marriage is over and I am supposed to put on a good show for my kids. Right, well, acting was never my strong suit. My heart does break for my ex-wife. Every day. But there is nothing I can do about that now except keep praying.
I guess my question is, what do I do with me now? I do want to Love. I believe I was built for it, we all are. I am different now and I know despite everything, I could Love my ex-wife if she would let me. But she won't. She does not even see me, never really has, let alone to care to know me.There is another person out there that I think I could Love but there is something in me that is resisting. That is extremely frustrating for me because I want to Love her. She makes me feel like I am worth something and might be capable of being Loved. A worthiness my ex-wife took from me when she upgraded.So what now does that mean for me? I want to Love my ex-wife if even as friends. But all I feel is hurt and betrayal when she is around. Her lack of any emotion other then her toot her own horn self Love and her belief that her career defines her only makes me feel worthless and used. The type of person I want to Love, but my heart is resisting shares my passion for her kids, is selfless, seems to like me for me, who I am and not for something I do for a living but just how I am.
My interpretation of the Bible is one wife, one marriage. I believed that even before I accepted Jesus. Now I don't know anymore. I do know that I am only capable of Loving one person the way the Bible describes how a man should Love. I guess I am going to keep doing what I am doing and continue to pray the God opens up my heart so I can Love the way someone deserves to be Loved. Please pray for me that God's Will lets it happen soon. Thank you.
I consider the Bible to be the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. So, by that statement, I was not Loved as I thought I was. Never was. I guess for that matter, what I thought was Love I was giving was not Love at all. It was not until after my heart was destroyed by my ex-wife that I even came to Jesus and ask him to come into my heart. Does that give me a pass from the rule above. I don't think so. In fact I know it doesn't. What about her? Does it make her more guilty because she DID know Jesus? Again, I have to say No.So now what? My marriage is over and I am supposed to put on a good show for my kids. Right, well, acting was never my strong suit. My heart does break for my ex-wife. Every day. But there is nothing I can do about that now except keep praying.
I guess my question is, what do I do with me now? I do want to Love. I believe I was built for it, we all are. I am different now and I know despite everything, I could Love my ex-wife if she would let me. But she won't. She does not even see me, never really has, let alone to care to know me.There is another person out there that I think I could Love but there is something in me that is resisting. That is extremely frustrating for me because I want to Love her. She makes me feel like I am worth something and might be capable of being Loved. A worthiness my ex-wife took from me when she upgraded.So what now does that mean for me? I want to Love my ex-wife if even as friends. But all I feel is hurt and betrayal when she is around. Her lack of any emotion other then her toot her own horn self Love and her belief that her career defines her only makes me feel worthless and used. The type of person I want to Love, but my heart is resisting shares my passion for her kids, is selfless, seems to like me for me, who I am and not for something I do for a living but just how I am.
My interpretation of the Bible is one wife, one marriage. I believed that even before I accepted Jesus. Now I don't know anymore. I do know that I am only capable of Loving one person the way the Bible describes how a man should Love. I guess I am going to keep doing what I am doing and continue to pray the God opens up my heart so I can Love the way someone deserves to be Loved. Please pray for me that God's Will lets it happen soon. Thank you.
